Interesting or funny...you decide.

[Ms Grumpy]

A man came home from work and found his 5 children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around garden, The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and no sign of the dog, walking in the door, he found ...an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, the throw rug was against one wall, In the front room the TV was on loudly with the cartoon channel, the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.

As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel...

She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?' She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world do I do all day?...
''Yes," was his incredulous reply..
She answered, 'Well, today I didn't do it.

[Ms Grumpy]

Two men were walking their dogs together. The first guy with a Chocolate lab and the second a Chihuahua.

The first guy says, "Hey, you want to get something to eat?"

The second guy replies, "Yeah, but they all have signs that say 'No Dogs Allowed'."

The first guy with the lab puts sunglasses on and hands the other guy a pair. "Follow my lead," he says.

As he walks into the restaurant a waiter stops him and says, "Sir, no dogs allowed."

The man replies, "It's O.K., this is my seeing eye dog." The waiter apologizes and leads the man to a table as the second man enters.

The same waiter stops him but the guy says, "This is my seeing eye dog. I'm with the other guy."

The waiter replies, "Sir, you can't fool me, you have a Chihuahua."

The man freaks out and says, "A Chihuahua? They gave me a Chihuahua?!"

[Ms Grumpy]

A blonde was driving home after a football game, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a body shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her car's tailpipe. Nothing happened. She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.

Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"

The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. Her roommate rolled her eyes and said, ...

"HELLLLO" "You need to wind up the windows"

[Ms Grumpy]

Freya was driving her Chevrolet Vega home in New Mexico when she saw an elderly Apache woman walking along the side of the road. She stopped the car and asked the woman if she would like a lift?

With a silent nod, the woman climbed into the car. Freya tried in vain to make conversation with the Apache woman.

The old Apache looked closely at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a red gift bag on the seat next to Freya.

'What's in the bag?' asked the old woman.

'It's a bottle of whisky that I got for my husband.'

The Apache woman was silent for another minute or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, 'Good trade.'

This car joke by Ernst Jordan

[Ms Grumpy]

To My Darling Husband

Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not to bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.

I was coming home from Asda, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.

I am really sorry but I know with your kind hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweet heart. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.

Your loving wife.

Tracey

XXX

P.S. Here is a picture of what happened to the car.
http://guy-sports.com/fun_pictures/car_woman_garage.jpg

Thanks to funny car jokes.

[flash]

Love those jokes ,keep them coming .

[Ms Grumpy]

I was getting slap happy last night. I couldn't sleep and was having a blast reading jokes.

[earthquake68]

Here's a true story for you guys. (this is why I don't hang out with people who aren't in to cars)

A neighborhood kid that knows I always have something fun to look at in the garage stops by with his friend. At the time, I had a big block, four speed Nova and a bright red '79 Corvette.

After looking at the cars and talking for moment, the kid's friend turns and says (while standing BEHIND the Corvette next to the large "Corvette" emblem) Wow, that's a really nice Viper!

........There's no way you just said that.

[Ms Grumpy]

Good one Alan. But it is so true, today's kids don't know much about cars. They just want to be able to get in, turn the key, and it goes. They don't appreciate cars because years ago you bought a car with the intention of keeping it for a long time. So you tinkered with it, and learned all that you could about the motor and car. The technology of today has everything run by computers, and if you mess those up your car won't run. Today many people buy a car with the intention of trading it in for a newer model in 4 years. Or they lease a car with the intention of doing the same, trading it in for a newer model in a few years.

[Ms Grumpy]

I was at the bar the other night and overheard three very hefty women talking at the bar.

Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?"

One of them angrily screeched, "It's Wales, Wales you bloody idiot!"

So I apologized and replied, "I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland?"

And that's the last thing I remember.