I like it Ken.

Get a lot from my cousin and I have no idea where he gets em at.

Just keep 'em coming. lol

Ahhh Nurses

YOU HAVE TO LOVE A GOOD NURSE. . .

A policeman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix.
The doctors operated and advised him that all was well, however,
the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch.


Worried that it might be a second surgery and the doctors hadn't told him about it,
he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look
at what was making him so uncomfortable.


Taped firmly across his pubic hair and private parts were three wide strips of
adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily... if at all.


Written on the tape in large black letters was the sentence,
"Get well soon, from the nurse in the Ford Explorer you pulled over last week."





Kind of brings tears to your eyes doesn't it ?

And heres another.....


THIS IS A GOOD ONE…….. LOL


A guy is looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library. He asked a girl:

"Do you mind if I sit beside you?"

The girl replied in a loud voice:
"I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed
and moved to another table.


After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said with
a laugh: "I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you
felt embarrassed, right?"


The guy then responded in a loud voice:
"$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? . . . THAT'S TOO MUCH!"

All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy whispered to her:"I study law, and I know how to screw people."

You find some painful jokes Ken. lol Love them.

Those were great ,I needed that .

A burglar broke into a house one night.
He shined his flashlight around,
looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,
'Jesus knows you're here.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin,
clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

When he heard nothing more,
after a bit, he shook his head and
continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so
he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he
heard 'Jesus is watching you.'

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically,
looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight
beam came to rest on a parrot.




'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked,
'I'm just trying to warn you that he is
watching you.'

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me,
huh? Who in the world are you ?'

'Moses,' replied the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughed.
'What kind of people would name a bird
Moses?'

'The kind of people that would name a
Rottweiler Jesus.'

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. "Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt," the golfer mumbles to himself.


Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, "Would you be willing to give up one-fourth of your sex life?"


Thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen, so he says, "Sure," and sinks the putt.



Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, "Gee, I sure would like to get an eagle on this one."



The same stranger is at his side again and whispers, "Would it be worth giving up another fourth of your sex life?"



Shrugging, the golfer replies, "Okay." And he makes an eagle.



On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win.



Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side and says, "Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of your sex life?" "Definitely," the golfer replies, and he makes the eagle.



As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks alongside him and says, "I haven't really been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm Satan, and from this day forward you will have no sex life."



"Nice to meet you, "the golfer replies, "I'm Father O'Malley."

Another good one .