You're a fine one to talk Ric. I saw you in that pee soaked t-shirt, how did that happen?

I always don't follow my own advice, plus it got away from me

My quote for our dept here at work is "Our Job isn't to complain, but solve the problems" I point to it on my white board every time someone comes in and starts complaining.

What goes around comes around.
If I claim to be a wise man it surely means I do not know
There is an ass for every seat
Do you want the 5 year or 6 year extended warranty?

Just a few of my favorites.