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Ms Grumpy 05-31-2010 10:04 PM

Gary, I lost my dad when I was 9, so my mom was pretty much both parents to me. Today we had her over to our house for a BBQ. It was storming, so I called to see if she wanted us to pick her up. She bought a condo earlier this year and my oldest daughter moved in with her to help her out, emotionally and financially. My daughter is moving out next month, and my mom seems OK with it. But I worry, she is in her upper 70's and will be living alone. With hearing of your mothers fall, I worry that if something happens, that no one will be there to help. I would do anything for my mother, unlike my siblings. They are more interested in what mom will leave them, I am more interested in mom never leaving.

I hope for a quick recovery of your mother in law. Make sure your wife takes care of herself too. Keep us informed as to how everyone is doing.

Nancy

grandsport 06-01-2010 07:18 AM

I think I posted before but my m-i-l has cancer big time. And she has a recurring infection which makes her think she can do things she can't. That is how she fell.There is really nothing they can do for her,it is just a matter of time now.The wife is getting pretty well run down,I just hope she doesn't get sick again.

flash 06-01-2010 09:09 AM

Gary ,is there any way you can hire someone full time to look after her for a while to give your wife a break? She needs to rest and recharge or she may hurt herself due to stress. My wife had a heart attack due to stress several years ago and almost died on me .We were the major caretakers for my FIL who had Alsheimers and the inlaws were no help .We finaly had to put my FIL in a home for a brief time where he probably got better care than we could give him. They took very good care of him to the end and we were able to visit every day.My inlaws split his estate between themselves shortly thereafter even though my MIL is still very much alive and my wife got nothing. Watch out for those outlaws as I now call them. Take care of your wife as well as yourself .My prayers are there for you as you need all the help you can get.
PS: laugh every chance you get ,it beats crying and definetely helps.

grandsport 06-01-2010 09:21 AM

She has a service come to the home,but no one wanted to work the Holiday.

Hank70SS 06-01-2010 10:25 AM

It's tough watching a loved one slowly die. Leaves you feeling helpless and is emotionally draining. Make sure you're there for Maureen, I know you will, just listening to her and providing emotional support will be a big help in getting here through this.

Hank70SS 06-01-2010 10:35 AM

My mother lives with my sister and brother in-law near Miami. Lynda had researched and called assisted living homes up here. We even went and visited a few. That would have been the best thing for mom but my sister asked her to come live with them.

They rely on her money to get by because they live pay check to pay check. They make enough money, they just think they make a lot more. They both work full time and pretty much ignore my mom when they are home. She's my sister but she is a pig. I really don't like staying in their house when we go down, I would be ashamed to have anyone come into my house if it looked like that.

Anyway, I feel kind of helpless. I don't like my mom being there but she really can't stay with us. She's way overweight, bad knees and bad back. We have a tri-level, the full baths and bedrooms are upstairs. My mom uses a walker and still can barely walk, no way she can handle the stairs here. She's at the point now where most homes won't even take her.

rak1 06-01-2010 11:55 AM

I'm very sorry to hear al the problems your going through, All I can say is try to stay positive and to hang in there Gary!!


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