How Should I Help A Friend?
 

I have a friend who is is back from Iraq having a hard time. I just found a Craigslist ad where he is selling his Explorer to make bills and keep his power on. He hasn't told me of his troubles but his posting said it all.

Should I approach him and offer to help? If so, how should I go about it? Any advice is appreciated

I think it can be a very touchy subject for some. If he is proud or embarrassed it could be a real problem. The best thing to do is really talk to them before doing anything. Otherwise it could put a strain on your friendship.

I agree and that is my dilemma. I will try to talk with him but he is a proud person.

Coming back from a stint in a third world country as a guest of Uncle Sam is culture shock in itself. I'd suggest just (consistently) be there as a sounding board and if he wants your help in his situation then he will eventually ask for it. Let him bring up the subject and that will open the door for you.

"I will try to talk with him but he is a proud person." ... listening is more effective than talking

My wife and I helped a friend a while back by buying his car and then gave it back to him. The tears in his eyes said it all. It's always tough to know which way to go. Some will take the help others won't. Puts some feelers out there and see where he is at.
Ray

If you talk to him make sure you tell him he has nothing to be ashamed of. There's millions of good hard working people that are having a pretty tough time right now.

Agree with Hank, nothing to be ashamed of. I hate it for hardworking, honest people to get caught up in financial problems. Got two brother's that are struggling right now. Try to help them as much as I can without getting myself into a bind.

Durand

What about contacting a local "Veterans" hall or someone like that. And ask them if there is an organization that you can contact, or if they have any suggestions about talking to your fiend. They have been through what your friend has and maybe they will give you some ideas. Please keep us informed on what happens.

Ms Grumpy has good ideas above and I agree there is nothing to be ashamed of. God only knows what kind of trauma he has been through .Best of luck to him and thank you for caring.

I would just be up front with him. If I were in trouble,I would be more than happy to have someone help me.

Hope things are going well Chevelle Nut.

Everybody is different Gary. Some people don't want their friends and family to know they're having problems. They feel like they have failed and don't want people to know. Nothing to be ashamed of in this economy. Most of us are hanging on by a thread, we may not realize it but we are.

I totally agree with you Hank. I just want to add that ...sometimes people won't ask for help, but they will take it if you don't just offer to help them, but you offer to help their family.

Thanks for all of the advice.One thing I did do is I talked with the Scoutmaster of or Boy Scout Troop and the Troop has agreed to refund his and his son's camp fees for next week, that is a three hundred dollars, Scouting is a brotherhood.

Last evening he mentioned to me he was selling his wife's car but did not say any more. It is hard to see a friend having trouble, I don't want to publicize his problems to others but if he needs help I will be there.

Do what you feel is right, in your heart. He is your friend and you know him better than we do. Just be there for him.