My neighbor Gus
 

Okay, I told you Gus said the installer could have nicked the rear main seal while installing the trans in the other thread.

Sunday morning I see Gus and Darryl, Darryl has the new 70 SS convertible, standing in the street at the end of Gus's driveway. So I walk over while the old guy, Gus, and Darryl are talking. He wants to know if I saw anyone drive down his street early that morning because there's a pile of dirt in the road. Looked like it fell off a truck and you could see dually mud tire marks inline with it. We're talking about a few ounces of dirt/mud out in the street.

A blacktop street with no curbs or sidewalks. Sweep it off the side of the road and be done with it. No, he has a coal shovel, broom and a small box to scrap and pick up the mud off the road. Was it the newspaper delivery people? Maybe the guys doing the brick work on his chimney came back at 7:00 AM Sunday to see what needed to be fixed and then left. Ya, that was probably it Gus. They're an hour away and drove to your house at 7:00 AM Sunday to see what they needed to do on Monday. Yup, pretty sure that must be it.

The reason Darryl was out there talking to Gus was because Gus called him. He was under his new Chevelle greasing it and decided to just walk over and see what Gus wanted. You guessed it, he wanted to know if Darryl saw anyone come down the street that morning.

Now this street, we're on the corner, only goes about 400' then ends in a court. It feeds the house behind us, Darryl, Gus and another house on the other side from us. There's always cars and trucks driving in there until they figure out it's a deadend.

Gus was ready to call in CSI to find out who dropped this mud on the street in front of his house.

More in part two.

Gus, part deux.

So Gus worked at GM longer than I've been alive. Everyday he came home from work and pulled in the driveway. His wife Teresa, she passed away a few years ago, would get in the car and they would go out to dinner. Most nights after dinner Gus would drop Teresa at home and then go back to work.

Well Gus found a new squeeze a couple years ago. Lay-lay or Suc-suc, can't remember her name or understand her. Chinese, at least 30 years younger than Gus. Darryl suggested I buy stock in Viagra when they got hooked up. I should make him my financial adviser.

Well they've been to China, got married there. Greece, Alaska and I can't remember where else. They're only here for a couple of months, they spend most of their time in FL, Gus has a 'villa' there. He spent all his time working before he met what's her name.

Anyway, a few weeks ago Darryl is outside and smells a strong bleach smell. He sees Gus's 'landscaper' and walks over and there are empty chlorine bleach bottles everywhere.

Apparently L-l, or is it S-s, didn't like the look of all that green moss growing on the tree trunks in their yard. So she demanded the landscaper 'bleach' the tree trunks. Straight bleach mind you from a garden sprayer.

The landscaper didn't think that was a good idea. Neither did Gus but it got done. Wonder what Gus got out of that deal? I should have bought that Viagra stock.

So maybe I'll do a part trois later.

Hank, maybe you could do a story on Gus and his missus every day, just for fun, ya know. Get us off on the right foot daily. He sounds like a hoot. I'm thinking the woman has a few tales to tell!

He keeps things interesting and it gives us something to talk about. He doesn't bother me so I don't mind the entertainment.

I wish I could Tony. Like I said they're only here a few months, rest of the time in FL. I think they came up here in late August and they'll probably be gone next month. Too bad, things will get boring when they leave.

I talked to Darryl today. Told him I was thinking of sneaking out late tonight and throwing a shovel full of dirt on the road in front of Gus's house. Told him to let me know what time Gus called him to ask if he knew how the dirt got there.

Darryl said DO IT! Just make sure it's wet and muddy. We're both retired so easily amused. It would be funny but I'm afraid Gus might have a stroke after seeing the fit he threw the other day.

You are having way to much fun with this guy.

Give him something to really investigate, like a couple big piles of horse poop in front of his house.

Cow poop would be a bit more messy .

Do you think that maybe he has installed camera's ? Sounds like he is on a mission to find out who left the mud.

Love the story, and I agree, daily updates would be great.

This guy is hilarious, keep the stories comin Hank.

When I walked over to talk to Darryl about throwing mud on the road, I did notice Gus's yard looked very nice after the "Ritual Chinese Bleaching of the Trees". I might look into doing that. Not sure though, with close to 30 trees it could get expensive.

I guess what's her name is a real piece of work. Darryl says she has quite a temper. Gus was having some repair work done on his chimney. Not sure how it started but what's her name kicked over a bucket of mortar. The brick guys almost blew a gasket, packed up all their stuff and left. Now Gus has to try to get them back to finish up the work.

Darryl said Gus has mentioned to him twice recently that he misses Teresa. Now might be a good time to sell your stock in Viagra.

I'll have to try and remember some more Gus stories to tell. In the meantime let me tell you about my former neighbor George. We never hit it off too well but I tried to be a good neighbor and help him when I could.

So one day I see George and his 2 son's tying a rope to the rear bumper of their old Taurus wagon. The other end securely tied to the base of a 30 some year old evergreen bush. Now I can spin all 4 tires on my pickup, on pavement, with a logging chain hooked to a bush like that.

So naturally I assumed they were trying to remove the rear bumper of the Taurus. Well it didn't work, the rope broke. So they tied the rope back together, now who would have guessed it but that damn rope broke again.

Well after the entertainment value of watching them repeat this process a few more times wore off, I offered the use of a logging chain to aid in removing the bumper. Well, George informed me they were trying to remove the bush, not the bumper. So I informed him that it was never going to happen using the Taurus. I drove my pickup over and after a little pulling and chopping at the roots we got it out.

George's brother was the real mechanical brains of the family. So he came over to help change the blades on the lawn tractor. I think George hit the steel culvert that comes under the road while cutting the grass. Anyway, George and the mechanical genius lift the front of the tractor up and stand it upright, balancing on the rear tires and rear fenders.

Well they get the blades off, George goes up to HD and gets some new blades. I notice them monkeying around with a pipe wrench trying to put the new blades on and offered the use of a socket and ratchet. I take the tools over and notice the spindles have a 6 point star pattern and the blades have a 5 point star. I politely mention that he has the wrong blades. Ya, I know he says, they didn't have the right ones so I got these instead.

I asked him if he would please let me know when he was going to be cutting the grass because I wanted to put my vehicles in the garage and myself safe inside the house. I guess he thought better about his plan and put the old blades back on. Mind you the end of one blade was bent down over an inch. He used those blades for the next 3 years on the rare occasions that they went out to plow the lawn.

Is that the house to the south of yours? When I was there, it was not mowed.

That's the house Ric, not sure if they hadn't plowed recently, they liked to wait until it was at least 6" tall or maybe that was after it was foreclosed and they moved out.

My neighbor Gus, part trois, I'll have to stop soon since I don't speak French. I'll post this now so you early birds have something to start your day with.

So we've lived here for 11 years this month. I never really talked to Gus or Teresa for the first 7 or 8 years, as I said he was always working. We'd wave or say hi on the rare occasions when we did see Gus outside, Teresa was never outside.

So a few years ago after he hooked up with Suc-suc, I mean Lay-lay, oh whatever, we start getting Christmas cards from Gus and what's her name. I thought that was kind of nice, they didn't show up until late January or early February, but hey, it's the thought that counts.

Now these weren't your off the shelve cards, they're the made to order ones with a picture on them. That's probably why they were so late, picking out just the right picture then waiting while they're printed up. Oh ya! a picture of Gus and what's her name on one of their world travels. Gus with his arm around WHN, sporting some trendy shorts with the belt stylishly placed just below the nipples.

Mind you now, Gus is not a follower, he's a leader. So none of that 'belt exactly 1" below the nipple on each side' as current fashion norms would dictate. No, not Gus, he had that 'devil may care' look going. Only a 1/2" down on one side and a full 2" on the other, what a crazy guy.

I'll have to see if Lynda saved any of those Christmas cards so I can post one of the pictures. I'm sure she did, she usually saves those really special cards you only get now and then. That would start you guys day off right.

Oh, I should put the telephoto lens on the camera and see if I can get a picture of Gus next time he's outside. I'm sure he'll be wearing his powder blue flannel jammy pants. He's had them on every time I've seen him since they came back from FL, sure hope they've been washed in that time.

He wears them at a stylishly high level as well, close to the armpits but not quite. Maybe he just has them up there so they don't drag in the mud that keeps mysteriously showing up in the street in front of his house. Sure wish I knew what's going on with that, pretty disturbing situation.

Find the pictures Hank. I gotta see what this character looks like. I'm thinking he looks a lot like me?

Look like you? We both know there is only one other guy that looks like you Tony and it aint Gus.

This is better than some of the new shows on TV. I will have to check this post everyday to get my "Gus" fix. :)

Apparently we're in for some monsoons here in MI. Gus had new gutters installed on his house and he got the 6" commercial grade ones. Guess he knows something we don't. He also had them install metal screening over them to keep the leaves out, not a bad idea. Darryl wanted the screens too so they went over to his house after they finished up at Gus's.

The gutter guy asked Darryl if he had binoculars. Darryl said no, why? The gutter guy told him that WHN was watching them with binoculars and video-taping the whole time they were putting the gutters on Gus's house. When they were all done she started bitching that they hadn't caulked around the big spikes where they go through the gutter. First, if you fill a 6" gutter with water that high, a little caulk isn't going to help.

Anyway, they must have asked that they be caulked because the gutter guy said he had caulked them with clear silicone RTV. Well after some arguing back and forth he said he finally went back up and caulked over the clear RTV with white RTV so WHN could see it and would shut up.

I thought Gus was a little strange, sounds like him and WHN are a good match.

So i walked over to see Darryl the other day, he took his car to a GM dealer to have it checked out. They said it was a trans leak, both input shaft and between main case and tail shaft. I can believe that because I did see what looked like gear lube on the bottom of the trans when we looked at it but seemed to come from rear main after we wiped it clean and started the engine. Tough to say laying on the ground under the car with a flashlight.

Asked Darryl when he was taking it back, I would go with him. His eyes rolled back in his head and he started laughing. He had told me a couple days earlier that Gus had stopped over and said the same thing.

Darryl said "Gus, I'm kind of a loaner, I have my sat radio, cd's and prefer to go by myself. My brother-inlaw and cousin offered to go and I told them no."

Gus, "Well I'll go with you, let me know when you're going."

Darryl, "No Gus I want to go by myself."

So the conversation moved on to other topics. Finally Gus decided it was time to go home, as he walked away he said "Let me know when we're taking the car back."

Now every time I see him I say "When are you taking the car back, I'll go with you?" I also asked him how he was going to sneak that car hauler home and load the Chevelle without Gus seeing him. Suggested he might want to leave at 3:30 in the morning so Gus doesn't see him, and throw some mud out the window as he goes by Gus's.

I did tell Darryl he could come in the other way and put the trailer in my driveway then drive the Chevelle over and load it. Gus wouldn't be able to see it, far side of my house from Gus. Not sure when he's taking it back yet but it should be interesting.

Gus may not see you load it in the trailer, but I'm betting that his missus does.

Hank, you should be writing a book about your neighbors. And make sure that it says -

"some of the names have been changed to protect the innocent."

I used to have a Gus in my neighborhood ,he is now gone .Love these Gus stories .

One has to ask, does Gus have Hank stories on the "married to younger Strange Asia women" site?

Well Darryl is Darryl, Gus is a nickname, I can't pronounce his real name. It's a long Greek name.

He is a character, I have no problem with him. In fact I like when he's around, he's a pretty interesting guy. When I say interesting I mean... Well let's just say "Gus doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he drinks Dos Equis."

Probably, I haven't checked though. Why don't you google it and let me know. Never mind, I don't really care.

Hank, the only thing I can find in the google search is on a "bleaching trees" website and it was something about how bad their neighbor "Hank" trees look because he does not believe in the art of bleaching trees, and somthining about peeling tires in another neighbors ( Darryl's) driveway. So not to bad.

I was expecting another excerpt from the "Gus" saga. But the banter between you guys about Gus a squealing tires still made me smile.

Hank started it.

I can believe that. Our trees do look pretty bad and most are on the side of our house that Gus's house faces. They're forced to look at our nasty unbleached trees all the time. Actually I don't feel that bad about not bleaching them. Darryl lives right next door and I asked him if he planned on bleaching his trees and he said no. Now the only way you can tell where the property line is between the 2 houses is that Gus's trees are all pristine looking after being bleached and Darryl's are all nasty looking.

Hey, was there any mention of the 'mystery piles of mud' in the street?

Nothing exciting happened the last few days. I have to rely on Darryl for a lot of my Gus stories. Gus is across the street from us on the north side. Our driveway, shed, house doors are on or near the south side so we don't see what's going on over there. Darryl lives next door to him and they've been neighbors for like 30 yrs.

I did see Gus outside on Saturday, was going to get a picture but Saturday must be wash day. He wasn't wearing his powder blue flannel jammy pants. Had on regular pants and a jacket, not sure what's up with the jacket, it was 72 on Saturday.

Oh, so I mentioned how Gus doesn't understand or doesn't accept no as an answer. I'm anxiously awaiting for when Darryl brings that car trailer home. Should be good for at least one Gus story. Darryl did mention he pulled that on him before. Years ago when Darryl's son was just a baby, Gus was running for some position in the township government. Darryl said he would help put out flyers for Gus. Darryl's son was sick and Vickie wanted him to stay home with them.

So Gus calls and says "Darryl, we need to get the flyers out."
Darryl says "Gus, my son is sick and I can't do it tonight."
Gus: "Darryl we have to get these flyers out."
Darryl: "Gus, I have a sick child here and I need to stay here. I'll help you tomorrow."
Gus: "Darryl, you don't understand. We need to get these flyers out tonight."
Darryl: "Gus, you don't understand. My son is sick and I'm not doing it tonight."
Click, burr...

Is this going back to the new driveway burnout ? Hey a good burnout is a good burnout, no matter where it is.

Sorry I haven't had any Gus stories to relay, not a lot going on lately.

Oh, I did see WHN the other day and asked when they were headed back to FL. She said they weren't sure yet. At least that's what I think she said, she's pretty hard to understand. She said they got new gutters or maybe new putters, must have been gutters, pretty sure they don't golf.

She also said Gus had some brick work done, sure hope that's what she said. It's either that or Gus had some work done on his penis. No, don't see why she'd share that info with me, must have been 'brick' work, not the 'other' work.

Anyway, now Gus is thinking of getting a new roof. I hope she said 'roof' and not 'tooth' A new tooth wouldn't make for any good stories. Now a new roof, that could be interesting.

I'll keep you updated.

So where is my "Gus" story fix ? I am going into withdrawal. :(

X2 on that

X3 ,Having Gus withdrawals .

Things been kind of slow around here. I did see Gus on an extension ladder the other day. He was messing with a light up on the peak over his garage door. Lynda and I were out cleaning up some of the leaves in the yard at the time. We both kept an eye on him, he's 81 and not real stable on flat ground, no way he should be on a ladder. Fortunately nothing happened.

He did get several estimates for a new roof so that should liven things up. I'll try to get some pics of WHN video taping the job. Darryl got his new garage insulated and dry walled. Gus had the drywall guy over to finish the seams in his extra garage, not sure why he has an extra garage. He has room for 3 cars but only owns one, doesn't own a mower or snow blower either.

Anyway Darryl was there and Gus was bitchin that the seams didn't look as good as Darryl's. He paid for a garage quality finish, no sanding. Guy said I can fix them but that will cost more. Gus had some hack hang the drywall so it made finishing it a lot harder. He said I don't care, I want it fixed. WHN her name walked in and said, wish I could add the accent, "What you doing? You going to add a sink and couch in here? It's just a garage!" Darryl decided it was time to leave. Not sure how that all ended.

Oh, he did go out for a bit and come back while we were cleaning up the leaves. When he came back he stopped in the road and kept looking. I know what he was looking at. The guy cutting the lawn behind us blew the leaves off the edge of the grass into the road and the wind was carrying them all into Gus's yard. He couldn't blame me, he could see I was using a bagger behind the zero turn and burning them. Surprised he didn't go say something to the guy, guess because there was no mud involved he let it go.

So I'm waiting for the roofing guys to come. Not sure what he's having done but Darryl said some of the estimates were around $12k. That's almost double what I paid a few years ago. He has more roof than we do if you include the garages but not double. I'll have to go over and watch when they come, should be interesting.

Ok I feel better now Lol

And the saga continues. Thanks for the fix.

Hey, forgot to say the Gus stories will be on hold for awhile, you probably figured that out. Back in the beginning of November Lynda and I were out cleaning up the last of the leaves. WHN came over and gave Lynda a hug and said they were leaving. Lynda said, What was that all about? I don't even know her. Think she may have said hi to her a few times but that's about it.

Anyway they were leaving the next day. Flying to CA then going on a cruise ship from there to HI and back. Then going to Gus's villa in FL. We did get a Christmas card from them, had a picture of them all decked out for dinner on the cruise ship. We framed that one and hung it up next to the other picture Christmas cards we got from them. Had to take down some family pictures to make room but it was worth it.

I wish they had stuck around and gotten a new roof this year but didn't happen. At least we have something to look forward to next spring when they return. Gus will probably have it done then, if he lives that long.

Oh my neighbor Darryl got his car back from the builder. He drove it around and it still has an oil leak, still looks like rear main seal. They fixed the dash pad, some, but it's still not right. They also didn't do anything about fixing how the convertible top rails come down and don't straighten out. So of course the windows still don't seal up correctly.

I haven't seen it yet, he stopped over a week or so ago to bring my hitch insert back and he told me about it. He also brought me a case of Yuengling for helping him. He didn't need to do that but damn that's good beer. It's brewed in PA, you can get it in OH and even in FL but they don't distribute in MI. If you ever come across some give it a try.

So after the holidays I'll go over and check out his car. We've been busy and so has he. Maybe we can take care of some of the issues.

Thanks for the update Hank. I would love to be a fly on the wall of that cruise ship. I am sure that there will be some funny moments there.

It is so hard to hear that Darryl's car came back in that condition. It makes me just want to slap those people.