The Speeding Ticket! "Humpday Funny"
 

The Speeding Ticket
A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The police man approaches the driver's door.

"Is there a problem Officer?"

The policeman says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your license please?"

The driver responds, "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."

"You don't have one?"

The man responds, "I lost it four times for drunk driving."

The policeman is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?"

"I'm sorry, I can't do that."

The policeman says, "Why not?"

"I stole this car."

The officer says, "Stole it?"

The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner."

At this point the officer is getting irate. "You what!?"

"She's in the trunk if you want to see."

The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

The senior officer says "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!"

The man steps out of his vehicle. "Is there a problem sir?"

"One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."

"Murdered the owner?"

The officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car please?"

The man opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

The officer says, "Is this your car sir?"

The man says "Yes," and hands over the registration papers.

The officer, understandably, is quite stunned. "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence."

The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. "Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, stole this car, and murdered the owner."

The man replies, "I bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!"

Thats one way to get alot of attention, lol

That was pretty good.

Very funny, but I don't think I have enough marbles to pull that one off! :D

With my luck it would all be on the police car video.

The man is indeed intelligent for creating such a scene, just imagine the look in the face of the police officer who pulled him out. This joke definitely made my day.

Very good joke and WELCOME Kevin .

A speeder gets pulled over..and the cop says ive been waiting for you all day.!
The speeder says...well i got here as fast as i could.!

A blonde gets pulled over for speeding.
Cop says can "I see your license?"
Blonde "What's a matter with you people? You took my license away last week now you're asking for it again."

I always love the blond speeding jokes. lol