My first shot at tough love.
 

I was dancing around this for a week,but it was something I had to do.I took Lindsays new Subaru Legacy off of her this Friday.She is a great kid,but I had to draw the line when she started trashing it.Yeah she has been through a lot,but her Dad has done more than enough and I wanted to keep my losses at a minium on her car.So I sold it and now she is driving an 05 Hyundai.:D She was not at all happy leaving our house this afternoon,but she called me tonight and admitted she made a mistake and thanked me for all that I do for her.That is all I wanted to hear.

I did the same with my oldest. I gave her a '61 Bel Air and took back away from her when she didn't work on it or even look at after the first day. ......anybody want a '61 Bel Air?

I'VE done a good bit of work to it. :(

Not a easy thing to do. I had to do it to my younger daughter and have not seen her in almost year. Hope she is OK. Hard not to hear from her around Christmas.

Gary, I know that it took a lot for you to do this. And I know that Lindsay is the apple of daddy's eye, but you did the right thing. She is growing up, isn't she engaged ? She has learned that she can't walk all over dad. I am so proud of you. And it sounds like she learned something from this experience.



Ray, I feel your pain. I played the tough love card on one of my daughters. A few months later, thru my other daughter, I found out she was pregnant. Long story short, I was not allowed to be at the birth of my 1st grand child. And did not see my grand daughter until she was about 3 months old. I will say that I played the tough love card because of the "user" boyfriend, who by the way has been gone for the past 5 1/2 yrs. Sad time for me, but she needed help and I was there. It took a long time and was not easy, but we worked on our relationship and now have a great relationship. She will be back Ray, you just have to be open to accept her as is, when she reaches out to you.

Thanks Nancy,
We have a grand daughter that now is about 15 months old that I have never seen. The last I heard she gave the child to the state because she would not taking care of her. We just got a letter from the state today asking us if we wanted to take custody of our grand daughter, My wife and I are not sure we want to raise another child and the last I heard my daughter is pregnant again and living in Louisiana or New Orleans. She will do the same thing all over again.

Wow, that's rough Ray. I don't even know how to respond to that.

Ray:

Sorry you are going through the heartache of having a child so reckless. I have been down that road with my son. Just now thinking he is seeing the light and coming to his senses. Hate to admit it but my wife and I agreed at one point that it was best when we didn't know where he was or what he was doing. The old "out of sight, out of mind" philosophy.

Keep ya'll in prayers.

Durand

Ray ,that would be a tough situation to deal with .Could you take her in as a Foster Child and get state money to help pay expenses ,thats how it works here sometimes that is if you decided to get her .If not hopefully she will find a good loving forever home with adoptive parents .Best wishes on whatever you decide .

That is what the state is asking us to do is be foster parents for now. The daughter I'm talking about is one of two 3 year old twins I adopted 18 years ago. Been a hard road with these two girls and I have two biology children as well. The other twin has return back to biology family and has decided to break ties with us.

That why Flash my hats is off to you for helping the boys you do. :ntwrthy:

Ray

Ray, have you talked to your other children about this ? I would think that their opinion would weigh heavily on a decision to care for this child. It sounds like your decision could even have an impact on your relationship with your adopted daughter. I wish I knew what to tell you, other than to talk, a lot, with your family and listen to your heart.