Shaun, I give you a lot of credit for holding it together. I would probably have blown up, or told her "My mother always told me, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".
I think you need to relieve some of this stress by talking to your wife. You said that she "she begged me not to do anything! ". This is causing stress in YOUR home, with your wife. You need to come to some kind of understanding with your wife as to how to handle your Mother-in-law or the stress is never going to go away. I am sorry, I have been where you are, and I had to actually deal with the mother-in-law from hell. In my case it wasn't pretty, but ultimately she knew I was not going away.
I wish you the best.
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Get in, sit down, shut up, hold on...cause Ms Grumpy is driving !
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