A chuckle for you

Ms Grumpy · #1 11-23-2012, 08:53 PM

WHAT IS BUTT DUST?

What, you ask, is "Butt dust?" Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original and genuine . . no adult is this creative!!

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. "I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad:" Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back, and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.... this particular Sunday sermon..."Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust."

He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, "Mom, what is 'butt dust'?"
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shadowgray396 · #2 11-24-2012, 07:04 PM

Kids say the darndest things was a funny show with sayings like those you shared.

Good one Lol

Ms Grumpy · #3 11-25-2012, 06:53 AM

My kids love watching reruns of that show "Kids say the darndest things".

shadowgray396 · #4 11-25-2012, 10:10 AM

Here's one for you. Mother's Milk

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term
exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's
Milk.? The question was worth 70 points.

One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven
advantages. However, he wrote:

1) It is the perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.

And then he was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before
the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:

7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the
ground where the cat can't get at it.

He got an A.

flash · #5 11-25-2012, 12:15 PM

Those were pretty good .

Derek69SS · #6 11-25-2012, 07:49 PM

Last week I took my son to a gun store to pick out a kids .22 rifle for his 5th birthday. After filling out the paperwork, the store clerk asked for my phone number, so I said it out loud while he wrote it down.

Cale, knowing how to call me with the speed-dial on my wife's phone, looked up at me and asked "Daddy, isn't your phone number 2 ?"

grandsport · #7 11-25-2012, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Derek69SS

Last week I took my son to a gun store to pick out a kids .22 rifle for his 5th birthday. After filling out the paperwork, the store clerk asked for my phone number, so I said it out loud while he wrote it down.

Cale, knowing how to call me with the speed-dial on my wife's phone, looked up at me and asked "Daddy, isn't your phone number 2 ?"

You are kidding about the gun? If not,holy crap.

Derek69SS · #8 11-25-2012, 08:40 PM

Not kidding.
http://www.crickett.com/crickett_kidscorner.php

flash · #9 11-26-2012, 11:37 AM

My 2 great nephews were at about that age when their dad taught them to shoot rifles and the 3rd one will be learning soon .I think its good to teach them while they are young enough to teach before they reach the age of knowing everything. My great nephews are well trained to hunt and fish for their food if needed.

Derek69SS · #10 11-26-2012, 02:18 PM

It's also important to teach safe handling and expose them to firearms often and under direct supervision so they aren't "curious" when nobody is looking.

The worst thing you can do for the safety of your kids if there's guns in the home is to forbid them from touching them... kids will do anything they can to look at and handle them, but they'll do it when you're not there watching over them and try like hell to not get caught. Locks and safes only go so far once the kids are old enough to start looking for hidden keys or snagging yours when you're not looking.