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#181
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Don, age 80, always wanted a pair of authentic Texas cowboy boots, so,
seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?" Margaret, age 75, looked him over. "Nope." Frustrated, Don stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?" Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, "Don, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow." Furious, Don yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?" "Nope. Not a clue", she replied. "IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!" Without missing a beat Margaret replied, "Shoulda bought a hat, Don, shoulda bought a hat!"
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Today, is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday..enjoy it !!! |
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#182
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I knew there was a reason I wear hats .
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John |
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#183
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LOL..........I know what you mean. This was about 20 years ago. I was a Country Western Dance Instructor and competition dancer for 13 years.
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Today, is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday..enjoy it !!! |
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#184
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Gun Control
Gun Control; It has already started at Bass Pro Shops Sporting Goods. When I was ready to pay for my purchases of gun powder and bullets, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When The hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader. I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer. I still do not think I looked that bad.
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Today, is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday..enjoy it !!! |
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#185
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Love the picture Ken. Lol
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Get in, sit down, shut up, hold on...cause Ms Grumpy is driving ! For the audio geek try: www.audiokarma.org |
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#186
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A plane is on its way to toronto , when a blonde in economy class gets up and moves to the first class section and sits down.
The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class and that she will have to sit in the back. The blonde replies, "i'm blonde, i'm beautiful, i'm going to toronto and i'm staying right here." The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in first class, that belongs in economy and won't move back to her seat. The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat. The blonde replies, "i'm blonde, i'm beautiful, i'm going to toronto and i'm staying right here." The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won't listen to reason. The pilot says, "you say she is a blonde? I'll handle this, i'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde." he goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, "oh, i'm sorry." and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy. The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss. "i told her, "first class isn't going to toronto."
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Today, is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday..enjoy it !!! |
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#187
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That sounds like a true story .
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John |
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#188
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Thats a good one
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Ray 1970 SS Chevelle Van Nuys Built |
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#189
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Today, is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday..enjoy it !!! |
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#190
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Can't tell you how many times I heard this when I was a kid, just not the Ford part.
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Ray 1970 SS Chevelle Van Nuys Built Last edited by shadowgray396; 02-28-2015 at 08:10 AM. |
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