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#11
02-14-2010, 06:48 PM
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Love the jokes....
__________________
Get in, sit down, shut up, hold on...cause Ms Grumpy is driving ! For the audio geek try: www.audiokarma.org 
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#12
02-15-2010, 04:49 PM
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Quote:
Irish Birth Control Mrs. Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, ‘Top o’ the mornin’ to ye! Aren’t ye Mrs. Donovan and didn’t I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?’ She replied, ‘Aye, that ye did, Father.’ The Father asked, ‘And be there any wee little ones yet?’ She replied, ‘No, not yet, Father.’ The Father said, ‘Well now, I’m going to Rome next week and I’ll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.’ She replied, ‘Oh, thank ye, Father.’ They then parted ways. Some years later they met again. The Father asked, ‘Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?’ She replied, ‘Oh, very well, Father!’ The Father asked, ‘And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?’ She replied, ‘Oh yes, Father! Two sets of twins and six singles, ten in all!’ CandleThe Father said, ‘That’s wonderful! How is yer loving hoosband doing?’ She replied, ‘E’s gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin’ candle.’
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#13
02-15-2010, 04:58 PM
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No Chevelle Forums for you! Come back....one year!
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#14
02-15-2010, 05:21 PM
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Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes,charter a double-decker bus for a weekend trip to Louisiana. The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the Blonde team rode on the top level. The Brunette team down below really whooped it up, having a great time, when one of them realized she hadn't heard anything from the Blondes upstairs. She decided to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the Blondes in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles. The brunette asked, 'What the heck's going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs!' One of the Blondes looked up at her, swallowed hard and whispered... "WELL, OF COURSE, YOU'VE GOT A DRIVER!"
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#15
02-15-2010, 05:24 PM
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A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.
She finally overtook him at the checkout, And she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son." He answered, "That's okay." "I know it's silly, but if you'd call out "Good bye, Mom" as I leave the store, It would make me feel so happy." She then went through the checkout, And as she was on her way out of the store, The man called out, "Goodbye, Mom." The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him. Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine Into someone's day, he went to pay for his Groceries. "That comes to $121.85," said the clerk. "How come so much ... I only bought 5 items.." The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said you'd be paying for her things, too."
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#16
02-15-2010, 05:27 PM
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A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house.
She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room. 'What are you doing?' she asked. 'I'm waiting for Justin to come home from work.' The daughter-in-law answered. 'But you're naked!' the mother-in-law exclaimed. 'This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law explained. 'Love dress? But you're naked!' 'Justin loves me to wear this dress,' she explained. 'Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours.' The mother-in-law left. When she got home she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively. 'What are you doing?' he asked. 'This is my love dress,' she whispered, sensually. 'Needs ironing,' he said. 'What's for dinner?'
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#17
02-15-2010, 05:34 PM
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Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get this money? A. From taxpayers.. Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? A. Only a smidgen.. Q. What is the purpose of this payment? A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of Asia ? A. Shut up or you don't get your check. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: 1. If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go to China . 2. If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia . 3. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India . 4. If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras or Guatemala. 5. If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea . 6. If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to Taiwan . 7. If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to pay management bonuses and be hidden in offshore accounts. Or, you can keep the money in America by: 1. spending it at yard sales or flea markets, or 2. going to baseball or football games, or 3. hiring prostitutes, or 4. buying cheap beer or 5. getting tattoos. These are the only wholly-American- owned businesses still operating in the US . Conclusion: The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you're drunk enough to go get tattooed.
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#18
02-19-2010, 10:31 AM
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Where is everyone?
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#19
02-19-2010, 03:52 PM
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Somewhere, where, where, where
Hello!, ello, ello, ello
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#20
02-19-2010, 03:53 PM
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Geeze,I ain't deaf Fred.
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