My marriage is going down the tubes.

[chevguy65]

Originally Posted by grandsport

I made her laugh tonight,anyways. Her brother and sister were at the house and she gave them a piece of her mind. I was sitting on the front porch listening. I said man this is great,I need some chips and beer to go with this show.Her family was not amused. She is in a much better mood tonight.

Good news my friend!!!!!!!!!
Keep making her laugh and soon you will be laughing together!

[Rank]

Gary, you're acting like this is all happening to you. I feel for you man, and have an idea of what you're going through man, but you aren't the victim here. I'm not sure who really is. Partly, your wife thinks SHE is the victim, and partly she thinks her mother is the victim. Both of those things tick her off. She's already ticked off, before she even thinks about you. Anything you do, and I mean ANYTHING you do, that even remotely goes against her wishes. she will not tolerate. She already has all this crap to deal with and you're not supposed to add ANY. What she expects is for you to be self-sufficient, and to know what she needs from you without having to spell it out to you, or ask you for it. Don't talk to her about any of it. Don't ask her about it. If she wants to talk about it she will. Give her the feeling that you'll listen without reacting, and if she wants to talk she will. If she talks to you about it, just LISTEN. It is hard, trust me. I know. You don't like seeing her go through this.

Things aren't "normal" right now, so you shouldn't expect her to "act" normally. She won't respond the same way she does when she's generally happy with things....right? Divest yourself a little bit, like take a little distance, but don't go hide or anything. From now on, only be nice to your wife, like all the time, and know that it is for the greater good. Do it and be satisfied with being the only person that notices. It won't be like this forever. This will clear out or blow over somehow, and when the dust settles, she'll be able to elax some. Maybe sometime she'll have time to reflect on things, and she'll remember that you were cool to her. Do some things for her. Don't expect anything back for it either. Little things. Maybe expect her to still be riled up for a while, but know inside that you're doing the right thing. She'll see it eventually.

Don't let it bother you so much.
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I'm staying outta this one but if I was to put in my 2-cents it would be to echo your sentiments!

[flash]

Gary, I have been where you are at and it may get worse before it gets better .BUT it will get better ,she is very stressed .Maureen needs your support now more than ever, as hard as it will be on you. She needs to let it out and you are her only true support .Just let her give it to you and try and understand that she loves you ,she is just hurting inside. Your outlaws(in-laws) sound just like mine .

[Ms Grumpy]

Gary,
Here goes a womans opinion. I think from reading your posts for the last few months, family is important to you. So....

Most of these guys were right in alot of the things that they said. My suggestions, First thing she needs to know how much you love her and will be there for her without you making too big of a deal out of it, lay a card on her pillow for her to find when she is alone. Second, can you do something for her mother? Send flowers to the house with just a simple card, have her yard taken care of for her. Just something to show your wife that you care.

Your wife is so stressed right now and she doesn't want to show any weakness, even to you. She is a woman and wants to be strong for everyone.

Good luck to you, please keep us informed.
Nancy

[grandsport]

She is better today after having it out with her family,and coming to grips knowing the end is near for her mom. We took a little cruise in the Chevelle tonight and stopped at the DQ.That made her feel better.

[shadowgray396]

It's times like this you will need to support your wife. It's not easy knowing you are going to lose your mom and everyone react differently. I was so glad my wife supported me when I lost both of my parents, and I know I was not easy to live with. Glad you had some time tonight to get away from things even just for a few minutes. Hang in there and again you guys are in our prayers.
Ray

[Ms Grumpy]

Originally Posted by grandsport

She is better today after having it out with her family,and coming to grips knowing the end is near for her mom. We took a little cruise in the Chevelle tonight and stopped at the DQ.That made her feel better.

It's the little things that mean the most to her right now. Glad you had some quality time with her tonight.

[Highway Star]

Atta boy. It will be alright Gary.