My marriage is going down the tubes.

[grandsport]

Thanks,Ray. I'm in bed now,and my Malibu is next to me trying to cheer me up and doing a pretty a pretty good job at it. I do love my dogs.

[grandsport]

Thanks,Mike and give Chris 7 puppy kisses from our home. How does she deal with this?

[grumpy]

Gary, step back, take a few deep breaths. Tomorrow is always a new day.

I know first hand, the perils of a mother who loves to put strains on our marriage.


Dave

[Hank70SS]

Sorry to hear this Gary. Guess you need to ask yourself, is your marriage and wife worth fighting for? No offense to women but based on first hand experience they tend to handle stressful situations differently than men. When they're angry and upset they want to punish somebody for it. Doesn't matter who or if they have anything to do with it, somebody needs to be punished. It doesn't make a lot of sense but it happens and often it's the person closest to them because they're available.

I mentioned before we took care of Lynda's parents for over 10 years. 10 years of watching her mom slowly die, in and out of the hospital so many times I lost count. I took some abuse for it but Lynda realized I was the only one that was going to help her through it. All these years later she is willing to help with my mom any way she can because she knows I was always there for her and her parents.

Try to sit down, calmly, and talk to Maureen. Make her aware of what she's doing to you and your marriage. Let her know that it can't continue or the marriage won't survive.

[chevguy65]

Originally Posted by grandsport

Thanks,my friend!

It was great talking to you Gary and as a friend you know I am here....anytime day or night.

Go give Malibu a big hug for me and tell him I am glad he is your buddie!!!!

[grandsport]

I'm better this morning,2 people have already paid for my bad mood!

[Hank70SS]

Originally Posted by grandsport

I'm better this morning,2 people have already paid for my bad mood!

Glad to hear it. Family issues are the worst, you can walk away from friends when there's a problem, not so easy with family.

[grandsport]

Who knows what's in store when I get home.

[Highway Star]

Gary, you're acting like this is all happening to you. I feel for you man, and have an idea of what you're going through man, but you aren't the victim here. I'm not sure who really is. Partly, your wife thinks SHE is the victim, and partly she thinks her mother is the victim. Both of those things tick her off. She's already ticked off, before she even thinks about you. Anything you do, and I mean ANYTHING you do, that even remotely goes against her wishes. she will not tolerate. She already has all this crap to deal with and you're not supposed to add ANY. What she expects is for you to be self-sufficient, and to know what she needs from you without having to spell it out to you, or ask you for it. Don't talk to her about any of it. Don't ask her about it. If she wants to talk about it she will. Give her the feeling that you'll listen without reacting, and if she wants to talk she will. If she talks to you about it, just LISTEN. It is hard, trust me. I know. You don't like seeing her go through this.

Things aren't "normal" right now, so you shouldn't expect her to "act" normally. She won't respond the same way she does when she's generally happy with things....right? Divest yourself a little bit, like take a little distance, but don't go hide or anything. From now on, only be nice to your wife, like all the time, and know that it is for the greater good. Do it and be satisfied with being the only person that notices. It won't be like this forever. This will clear out or blow over somehow, and when the dust settles, she'll be able to elax some. Maybe sometime she'll have time to reflect on things, and she'll remember that you were cool to her. Do some things for her. Don't expect anything back for it either. Little things. Maybe expect her to still be riled up for a while, but know inside that you're doing the right thing. She'll see it eventually.

Don't let it bother you so much.

[grandsport]

I made her laugh tonight,anyways. Her brother and sister were at the house and she gave them a piece of her mind. I was sitting on the front porch listening. I said man this is great,I need some chips and beer to go with this show.Her family was not amused. She is in a much better mood tonight.