Stuck between a rock and a hard spot...

carpoor · #1 08-28-2013, 09:23 PM

I am done referring friends to other friends for work. ::sigh::

Last December I had a friend looking to have an engine built. I referred him to another friend that I have do stuff for me. Mind you, I have known both of these guys 10+ years and consider both really good friends. Either one could call on me, and I would drop everything to help.

Fast forward to now, over $8k later... no parts and no engine to show for it. I feel like crap for trying to help, but do not want to get in the middle. I have never had a bad dealing with either person. I like them both, and wish I could do something to help. I somewhat feel like it is partially my fault even though I had no idea that this would be the outcome.

Anyone else ever been in a similar situation? I am literally sick to my stomach and losing sleep over this.

Ms Grumpy · #2 08-28-2013, 09:53 PM

I have been there, and it is hard. No matter what anyone says, you still have that knot in your stomach.

Just because you introduced them, doesn't mean that it is your fault for what went on between the two of them. The worst part is having that stress between you and your two friends cause you can't talk to one without the other possibly asking questions about the other and what you might know about what is going on. I hope it get resolved soon.

mestorod70 · #3 08-29-2013, 09:25 AM

Just my 2 cents worth....but that guy would no longer be my friend.

shadowgray396 · #4 08-29-2013, 10:25 AM

I have had it happen to me also. Not much you can do about it. I just don't use them anymore.

FlintTony · #5 08-29-2013, 06:14 PM

I get asked all the time to recomend someone to do different things. Any more, I won't recomend anyone at all, for this reason. I might "suggest" to call a certain person, but that's all. Sucks that so many people will not honor their word now-a-days. Like said above, he would no longer be my friend.

carpoor · #6 08-30-2013, 09:04 AM

Trust me, I have decided that I am done with him. But, maybe it's just the type of person I am... I still wish I could help the guy somehow. It really makes me wonder what is going so wrong that he would do this. I've known the guy 10+ years, and this is way out of character for him. It just doesn't add up, and it is eating at me. I hate to see someone I call friend self-destruct.

flash · #7 08-30-2013, 11:18 AM

I have quit refering people to my used to be favorite bodyshop ,it hurts . I have a hard time accepting things like this when you thought they were friends.

Ms Grumpy · #8 08-30-2013, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carpoor

Trust me, I have decided that I am done with him. But, maybe it's just the type of person I am... I still wish I could help the guy somehow. It really makes me wonder what is going so wrong that he would do this. I've known the guy 10+ years, and this is way out of character for him. It just doesn't add up, and it is eating at me. I hate to see someone I call friend self-destruct.

It is hard. But not your fault. Unfortunately, being the kind of guy you are, someone with a concious, makes it hard to move on. Sorry to say that, but it is true and you need to separate yourself from this situation.